Apr 03 2008
Snowflakes and Shrunken Heads
As fine as the intentions of the educational
system are, there is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all teaching system.
There is a balance to be found between the structured education and the
creativity and individualism of our children.
I’m getting a second education.
No, I haven’t gone back to school yet again. I’m watching,
through the keen eye of a parental observer, the experience my son has as he
walks his way through elementary school. I may be more skittish than most after
all, even in my most enlightened moments, I witness my son’s experience through
a lens that is colored by the memory of my own school days.
I didn’t enjoy school. It wasn’t so much that I had other
things to do, it’s just that I remember spending long hours looking out
windows, thinking (or perhaps wishing) that I had more important things to do
or more important places to be. I have vivid recollections of gazing through
the glass at Brookdale Avenue School in Verona, New Jersey, somehow just
knowing that there was more to life than memorizing mathematical equations or
learning how to dissect a sentence.
On the other hand, I really enjoyed art class and running
around during gym period, so it wasn’t all bad…
When I really stop to think, I find my early relationship to
education rather amusing! I am, much to the chagrin and dismay of certain
members of my family, a passionate lifelong learner. It’s not unusual for me to
be reading several books at one time. Occasionally, I even finish one.
“Maybe it was the influence…”
Somehow, in spite of my “schooling,” to quote Mark
Twain, I ended up with a boundless curiosity and an insatiable hunger to
learn…
Here’s the funny thing: I don’t remember my education being
as high pressure a situation as I perceive Cai’s to be. Maybe it was the
influence of Dick, Jane and Sally, to say nothing of Spot. Maybe it’s just that
my memory is fading. Maybe the expectations placed on seven-year-olds 40 years
ago were different…
One way or another, my perception is that the amount of
“knowledge” being pushed at my son and his peers far exceed what was
asked of us way back when.
There’s something odd about what I see when I look at Cai’s
school situation. There’s a drive toward conformity that I’m uncomfortable
with. In fact, it kind of gives me the willies…
The week before holiday break, I planned my schedule such
that I was able to make it to Cai’s class holiday party. A hefty batch of
Danielle’s finest chocolate chip cookies in tow, I marched into the classroom
after scanning the entire school lot in search of a parking space. By the time
I crossed the classroom threshold, the kids were already involved in their
holiday craft project. Each child had been given three small kits with
instructions for creating little hanging ornaments.
The irony of a little Jewish boy making Christmas tree
ornaments notwithstanding, what happened next is where the real story lies…
“Included in the kits were precise instructions”
I must also let you know, before I dive into the crux of the
tale, that one of the challenges we’ve been having with Cai at school is
following through with instructions and completing his work. Doing, in other
words, what he is “supposed” to do.
The kids each had a penguin, a mitten, and a smiling
snowflake project in front of them. Included in the kits were precise
instructions and diagrams on how to make each individual ornament. All around
us children - and their parents - were making cute little penguins or
snowflakes or mittens. Cai, on the other hand, had his own ideas. Setting
paste-on eyes, scarves and other assorted parts aside for later use, Cai went
about creating his own personal object d’art.
Beginning with the snowflake, Cai took off on a different
route. Rather than using the different shapes that came with the kit, he
decided to use his pencil and give the snowflake a strange, toothy mouth.
I’d be lying if I said I was disappointed in his creative
departure from the norm.
After drawing a couple of lizard-like eyes on the
snowflake’s “face,” Cai pulled out a blue ribbon that was fraying on
one end. The ribbon was meant to be folded neatly and glued from behind to
serve as a loop for hanging the ornament. Tugging on the frayed end, Cai
separated the ribbon’s warp from the weft, leaving him with a handful of wavy
blue hairs, which he joyously affixed to the snowflake’s chin.
The end result of Cai’s creative detour was a wonderful sort
of shrunken-head looking snowflake with a long blue beard.
“The penguin ended up as a four-eyed alien”
To make a long story short, the penguin ended up as a
four-eyed alien, inverted for added effect. The snowman in the leftover parts
from the other ornaments became their own characters, each completely different
and wacky and original in its own way…
Initially, when Cai began creating things other then what
the kits were intended for, I had the thought to redirect him. After all, what
would the other kids think about Cai’s creations? What would the other parents
in the room think about me?
After a millisecond of consideration, I let it all go…
“There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all teaching
system”
The pressure to learn and fit in are tremendous, at least as
I perceive them. I see the educational system slowly chipping away at my son’s
spirit, at his desire to express himself creatively, at the energetic core of
what makes him the wild and fiery little man that he is. I also see a system
that has the very noble agenda of really teaching our children. As fine as the
intentions of the schools are, there is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all
teaching system. There is a certain meter and pace that’s designed to move most
of the children through at a given rate. Naturally, compromises are made…
The goals of this particular system often seem at odds with
the very nature of children - and they don’t have much space for the effusive,
crazy energy of little boys… especially if the little boy in question is,
like his father, a strong-willed daydreamer.
We’re not ready just yet for home-schooling or private
school, even though they’ve come up in conversation as possible pathways…
Homework has had its stressful moments, and I’m sure there’s
more to come. Danielle and I are learning to stretch and strengthen the
muscles of our patience. Cai is learning, along with the “three R’s,?
that not every situation in life is comfortable. He’s also learning a
little bit about the fallibility of his parents. The current circumstances are
calling on all of us to grow in many ways.
We left Cai’s school holiday party with six or seven wonderful,
fantastically different ornaments. It was a glorious, fun afternoon, and I got
to spend it with my son.
We’ve all heard the cliché about making lemonade from
the lemons life hands out. I find hope in knowing that my son can make
blue-haired shrunken heads from snowflakes while I look on , grinning?
About the author
Mossman PCC, CPCC, is a business
and personal coach who specializes working with fathers and “creative
cliff-jumpers,? men and women with creative dreams that just won’t quit. Ken’s
coaching style is lively, fun, challenging, full of humor and shamelessly
irreverent. To contact Ken or learn more, visit: http://www.cirruscoaching.com
Tags: art class, boundless curiosity, brookdale avenue school, chagrin, creativity, dismay, educational system, funny thing, important things, individualism, insatiable hunger, keen eye, lifelong learner, mark twain, mathematical equations, second education, spite, teaching system, verona new jersey, vivid recollections
Related Posts
No responses yet